A mental mixup

oh boy.

isn't it crazy the things that life can bring?
i was thinking the other day about how ironic it can be...
i dont know how your life goes, but if it is anything like mine, it can be so aggravating! most days, my life is simple and clear. i am a happy girl and things will be going perfectly for weeks at a time. then suddenly it seems, one seemingly perfect day changes faces and life throws a curve ball...
or six.
is that not the most obnoxious thing?! haha. rather than have one little thing every day to have to worry about at a time, one little problem or trial, i have weeks of carefree frolicking pass and they all hit at once.

oh life :)

i realize that life is beautiful- it really is. sometimes things go wrong and problems arise- mistakes are made and trials come, but in the end, it really is such a blessing to be alive and well. of course, things can always be worse. i am a firm believer in this... but you know, sometimes it is hard to keep that in mind. to remember that there are those out there in this dark world that have it a thousand times worse than you. people who would switch circumstances with you in a heartbeat if it were a possiblity.

in a way though, i am glad that it's not.

i am also glad for those bumps in the road that attack at all angles at the same time. in the end, after it all is over and done with, things brighten up and i realize, once again, that it wasn't so bad and recognize the good that came from it. everything happens for a reason.

another thing that has simply blown me away lately is the way that life works out.

me being me, i think i know what is best for myself. i have been planning out my life since i was a little girl- always imagining where i would be and what i would be doing at certain times in my life. i even thought i knew exactly WHO i would be. it is an interesting experience to reach those milestones in my life and compare my previous plans to the actual events that took place. sometimes, i am the smallest bit disappointed in myself... it's a little humbling to realize that you aren't the person you hoped you would be when you were little... but with that comes the resolution to change. i welcome change for the better. there are also those instances that you stumble upon and realize you ended up in a COMPLETELY difference place than you ever imagined. i cannot even emphasize the amount of times this has been the outcome in my life. with my "miss kirena knows best" attitude, i sometimes forget that she doesn't... however smart i may be, however independent i am or set on something, kirena DOESN'T know best.

that is a hard thing to accept.

but i do know, that once i get that beaten into my head- once i open my mind to that one person who really DOES know best, then i will end up in the places that i need to be. i will be touched by the people that i need to be influenced by. i will walk on the hearts of those that really need me. i will do the best and be the best that i can be.
and THAT makes it all worth it.

so hello, life.
this is kirena, and i welcome anything you choose to throw at me.
i am determined to walk hand in hand with that one person who knows what is best for me. with that bond, i cannot fail.
i will not fail.

oh,
p.s. i love you.